Back-To-School – Managing Schedules and Stress

Written by Jennifer Purifoy

As a busy mom of six beautiful children, I must say that when it's time to head back to school, I breathe a sigh of relief as the kids will once again be out of the house and back to their normal routine. While we all enjoy having our children home and taking in every bit of summer, heading back to school is a welcomed yearly event. However, this time of year can also add stress to trying to balance work schedules with the children's new routines.

You are not alone. Most of us will struggle a bit with getting back into the new routine, and I am here to give you a few simple tips that may help make this transition a bit smoother.

Back-To-School – Managing Schedules

Planning ahead and staying organized is critical when schedules become a bit more hectic, as one child is in volleyball and swimming, another is in dance, and the youngest is in daycare miles away from the other children's school. Have the feeling of needing to be in two places at the same time? I get it. While that would be amazing, it's sadly not realistic. Here are a few tips to help you plan ahead and stay organized:

1. Develop a calendar that clearly outlines all happenings. This includes after-school activities, daycare closures, early outs, days when either parent works late or has to come in early, etc.  This can be in an old-fashioned paper planner or electronic on a phone or computer.
2. Color code this calendar. This can help you to quickly glance at the calendar and know what is happening each day.
3. Put this calendar in plain sight for everyone to see multiple times a day. This will decrease the likelihood of a family member saying they didn't know about something. With the calendar in plain view, everyone should know what is on the schedule each and every day.  Even better, keep a copy of the calendar with you.  
4. Online calendars are another way to go, allowing you to add and remove events on the go.  Some online calendars even allow you to invite your spouse or other caregivers, updating in real-time and letting all invitees know what the schedule is.
5. Communicate with your spouse, significant other, or anyone who helps you parent or care for your children. Communicate clearly around expectations and assign each person their schedule. Once this is done, put it on the calendar. No need to just remember what’s going on; everything is documented in one easy-to-reference place.
6. If possible, plan ahead 2-3 months. This will help you avoid having to scramble with last-minute things, as you have carefully planned things out in advance. Yes, last-minute things will come up, but with advanced planning, you can hopefully decrease the amount you are stressing or scrambling.
7. Develop a routine. Have a clear schedule for wake-up times, bedtimes, mealtimes, homework, even screen time, etc.
8. Delegate chores and responsibilities. In addition to your spouse or support system, if your children are old enough, give them a set of daily, weekly, or monthly chores and responsibilities that are shown on the family calendar. You can choose to incentivize these items if that feels right for your household.
9. Say no. This one is hard. As mothers, we want to always say yes and be everywhere. This is a great way to burn out. Learn to say no to low-priority activities. 
10. Meal planning can help relieve some of the daily stress of figuring out what to feed the family. Pick a day of the week and sit down to plan your family's meals for the whole week. Once you plan out your meals and snacks, you can then prep them all in one day. Yes, this does seem like a long time to spend in the kitchen on a Sunday afternoon, but you will be thankful you did the rest of the week. 
11. Be flexible and know that things will change. It is okay to deviate from the schedule when needed.

Recognizing and Managing Common Back-to-School Stressors

Now that you are organized, it's important to acknowledge that this time of year can present some unique stressors. In order to be your best self, you need to know what these stressors are and how you can best manage them.

Stressor 1: Establishing Routines

After a summer of relaxed schedules, jumping back into an early morning routine can be jarring. The shift can disrupt sleep patterns and daily routines, causing stress for everyone involved. Your children may be less than enthusiastic about going to bed by 8:30 p.m. and being up by 6:00 a.m., for example. Find more information on how to create healthy sleep habits for children. Enforcing these new routines of bedtimes, homework time, limited screens, and more may present many challenges and overwhelm parents.

Stressor 2: Homework and Activities

As the assignments pile up and after-school activities commence, finding a balance that works for the whole family can be challenging. This can lead to over-scheduling, which may overwhelm children and parents.

Stressor 3: Social Pressures and Anxiety

For many children, worries about fitting in, dealing with new teachers, or facing academic pressures can lead to significant anxiety. Younger children might feel separation anxiety, while teens may stress about social dynamics and academic performance. In addition, parents may feel pressure to always do more like leading the PTA, volunteering, or coaching little league. This pressure may lead to parents taking on more than they can handle and may lead to feeling burned out.

Learn more about stress and how it may impact the body here.

Tips for Managing and Reducing Stress

In addition to staying organized and planning ahead, here are a few more tips to help you manage and reduce stress:

• Set realistic expectations. It's easy to want to do it all, but it's important to be realistic about what can be managed without stretching yourself and your children too thin. Prioritize activities and commitments based on what's truly beneficial and enjoyable for your child.
• Build in downtime for the whole family. Ensure that your child has free time scheduled during the week. This downtime is essential for children to relax and play, which is crucial for their mental and emotional well-being. Not only should your children have downtime scheduled, but that also goes for parents and caregivers. You should aim to give yourself one hour per day for yourself. You may utilize this time after your children go to bed or before they wake up in the morning. This time should allow you to do something you enjoy, just for yourself. This could be a hot bubble bath, reading a book, exercising, dancing, etc.
• Make sleep a priority. This is important for the whole family, but as parents, we sometimes forget about our own sleep health. Learn more about the importance of sleep.
• Talk about your feelings. You should encourage everyone in your family to communicate about their feelings openly. Being supportive and open can help alleviate stress and make you feel heard.
• Practice relaxation techniques, such as mindfulness, deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. Make this an activity for the whole family. Plan to set aside time each evening for a guided meditation as a family.

Moms, you can find more information on managing stress and the importance of self-care and sleep here.

Know When to Seek Help

It is important to know when to seek outside help from your primary care physician. You do not have to do this alone. Help is here for the entire family. Here are some signs to watch for:

For Adults:

• Persistent worry or fear that interferes with daily activities and decision-making.
• Physical symptoms like muscle tension, headaches, stomach issues, or unexplained aches and pains.
• Difficulty falling or staying asleep, or sleep that is not restorative, often due to racing thoughts or anxiety.
• Noticeable changes in mood, such as irritability, anger, or a decrease in patience, which aren't typical for the individual.
• Increasing withdrawal from social interactions and activities that were previously enjoyed, often due to feelings of anxiety or overwhelming fear.
• Experiencing sudden and intense episodes of fear that may include palpitations, sweating, shaking, shortness of breath, a feeling of impending doom, or fear of losing control.
• Impact on work or relationship
• Increased reliance on alcohol, prescription medication not used as directed, or other substances as a means to manage anxiety symptoms.

For Children:

• A noticeable drop in grades or school performance that can't be attributed to a specific physical reason.
• Constant worries about school, safety, or the health of family members, which seem disproportionate to the circumstances.
• Physical symptoms, such as frequent stomach aches, headaches, or other physical complaints without a clear medical cause.
• Increased irritability, temper tantrums, or mood swings that are unusual for the child's typical behavior.
• Avoiding participating in school activities or social events or refusing to go to school.
• Trouble sleeping, nightmares, or excessive sleeping that isn't typical for the child.
• In younger children, excessive fear of being apart from their parents or usual caregivers.
• Returning to behaviors previously outgrown, such as bedwetting, excessive crying, or fear of the dark.

If you or anyone in your family is experiencing the above symptoms, it is time to get help. If you feel like hurting yourself or someone else, call 911 immediately.