What does the Doc Say?
As you have likely discovered with parenting - as soon as you think you have figured one stage out, your kids have moved on to the next. And you too may find yourself wondering how your kids could possibly have gotten this old!! You look longingly back to sleepless nights, diaper changes, toys everywhere, the occasional cartoon on the TV. Some days anything sounds more enjoyable than fostering a relationship with an often-moody teenager. Looking back a bit further however, I am reminded that one day not too long ago I was that moody teen. Some of those days were tough and I wasn’t proud of my behavior either! I’m thankful for family and friends who helped me (and tolerated me) through that time, and I am reminded it is my job to love (and parent) my kids through these years just as much so as during the infant and toddler years.
My advice (and fellow parents - I welcome yours!)
- Use your resources – your support system can help both you and your teen.
- Check in often, nudge, encourage, and at times insist. Ask about their day even if it results in eye-rolls.
- Remind them that you are on their side. You love them (many times this!)
- Continue to encourage healthy routines – demonstrating/explaining so they can work to make their own healthy choices.
- Avoid “I told you so’s” – welcome them back when they run into challenges, let them identify what they should have done differently without too much preaching. Be their sounding board. Listen.
- Enjoy and work to develop good experiences with your teen. A couple hours spent together can make a big difference. These years, too, will be gone before you know it!”
Dr. Jennifer Riley
Northwest Family Clinics
Crystal, MN
How to Deal With a Moody Teenager
Understanding the Why
It can help to remind ourselves why teens can be so moody. Hormones are raging inside them, leaving many teens to develop an attitude, lashing out for reasons they may not even be consciously aware of. Their brains are young and still growing. It’s important to give them grace, as hormones are largely the cause of these new behaviors. Use calm reminders to correct negative behaviors.
Seeking Independence
During this time of life, it is natural to seek independence. They are heading toward adulthood and want the freedom that comes with it. While acknowledging their need for autonomy, communicate that the space they want is earned via trust. You are still the parent, and your teen needs parameters.
Avoid Fueling the Fire
When your teen is moody, do your best to push past it and avoid topics that may fan the hormonal embers. Bite your tongue, and demonstrate calm. Return to a conversation when you are both calm if it needs re-visiting.
It’s Not About You
This can be a tough one. It’s natural to take your child’s behavior personally, especially when they are directing their anger at you. Do your best to keep telling yourself it’s not really about you; it’s them.
They Need Space
The remedy for moodiness can be the need for space and privacy. Give it to them within reason.
Lifestyle
Many factors may additionally contribute to their mood, which include:
- Sleep – many teens forgo sleep to have a booming social life. Set a realistic bedtime and remove screens to encourage a full night’s rest.
- Nutrition – a diet loaded with processed foods may contribute to their bad mood as foods are directly correlated to brain chemistry and gut health.
- Exercise – are they moving enough? If not, this could be making them even crankier. Teens should get at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous activity daily.
Get a Support System
Fellow parents of teens can be a great support system to know you are not alone. It also can help determine if your child is experiencing abnormal behaviors which may require medical intervention.
It Might Be More Serious
While teen years can be challenging, there may be more serious issues happening within. Like anyone else, mental health issues may make this challenging time of life even more difficult. Your physician can help you determine if it’s typical angst or something more serious. Talk to your doctor today.