Bringing home your newborn is a time of wonder, joy, and, let’s face it, sleepless nights. Adjusting to your baby’s unique sleep patterns can be one of the biggest challenges for new parents. In these early months, it’s essential to understand what’s expected, how to support healthy sleep habits, and when to seek guidance if something feels off. Remember you are not alone and you may find yourself crying next to your baby begging them to sleep. This is normal, but knowing what to expect can greatly help you cope with these sleepless nights.
Newborn Sleep Patterns
In the first three months of life, your baby is transitioning from being cozy and tightly swaddled in mom’s womb, where sleep is regulated by mom’s body, to the outside world. They now must learn to self-regulate. Their tiny bodies are growing rapidly, and their brains are developing at an extraordinary rate. Unlike adults, newborns don’t follow the same sleep-wake cycles. They spend much of their time in active (light) and deep (quiet) sleep, which helps support their brain development.
Newborns also have small stomachs, meaning they wake frequently to eat—typically every 2-3 hours, including nighttime. This frequent waking is biologically normal and necessary for their growth, even if it leaves you feeling exhausted.
Remember, when your little one is in mom’s belly they do not have a circadian rhythm. Meaning, they have no idea when it’s night and time to sleep or when it’s daytime and time to be awake. They have to learn this, and it will take time.
What to Expect Month by Month
0-1 Month: Learning the Ropes
- Sleep Amount: Newborns sleep a lot—around 16-18 hours a day—but it’s broken into short periods of 2-4 hours.
- Sleep Cycles: Your baby’s internal clock (circadian rhythm) hasn’t developed yet, so there’s no clear distinction between day and night.
- Feeding and Waking: Expect frequent nighttime feedings, as your baby must eat every 2-3 hours.
- What You Can Do: Keep the environment calm and dark at night to help your baby start to understand that nighttime is for sleeping. During the day, expose them to natural light and engage with them during awake periods.
1-2 Months: Small Steps Toward Routine
- Sleep Amount: Still 14-17 hours daily, but you might notice slightly longer stretches at night.
- Developmental Changes: Your baby’s circadian rhythm begins to emerge, meaning they may sleep longer at night and stay awake for slightly longer periods during the day.
- What You Can Do: Begin to establish a simple bedtime routine, such as a quiet feeding, a gentle lullaby, or a brief story. This helps signal to your baby that it’s time to wind down.
2-3 Months: Longer Stretches at Night
- Sleep Amount: Around 12-16 hours per day, with 2-4 naps during the day and longer stretches (4-6 hours) at night for some babies.
- Sleep Challenges: The infamous “witching hour” (evening fussiness) can make settling your baby down at night tricky.
- What You Can Do: Be consistent with your bedtime routine and watch for early sleep cues, like rubbing eyes or yawning. Putting your baby down when they’re drowsy but awake can help them learn to self-soothe.
Common Challenges and Tips
- Night Wakings: These are normal and expected. Resist the urge to stimulate your baby during nighttime feedings—keep things quiet and low-key.
- Day/Night Confusion: If your baby sleeps more during the day than at night, gently encourage daytime wakefulness with play and exposure to sunlight.
- Overtiredness: Babies who are awake too long between naps can become overtired, making it harder for them to fall asleep. Watch for early sleep cues and try not to let your baby stay awake for more than 45-90 minutes at a time.
Learn more about how to get your baby to sleep here and more tips on caring for your newborn here.
Safe Sleep Practices
The first six months (particularly the first three months) are also a critical time for practicing safe sleep to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS):
- Place your baby on their back to sleep on a firm, flat surface.
- Keep the crib or bassinet free of pillows, blankets, toys, and bumpers.
- Room-share (but not bed-share) with your baby for at least the first six months.
- Avoid overheating your baby—dress them in a sleep sack or light pajamas.
Remember to talk to your doctor. As new research emerges recommendations do change, and your doctor is your number one resource to answer any questions about your new babe.
FAQs About Newborn Sleep
1. My baby only sleeps when held—what can I do?
It’s normal for newborns to crave closeness, as they’ve spent nine months in the warmth of your womb. While holding your baby for naps is fine, try to place them in their crib or bassinet once they’ve fallen asleep. Gradually, they’ll become more comfortable sleeping on their own.
2. How can I get my baby to sleep longer stretches at night?
It’s all about creating a consistent routine and environment. Keep nighttime feedings quiet and dark, and establish a soothing bedtime routine. As your baby grows, they’ll naturally start to sleep longer.
3. When should I worry about my baby’s sleep?
If your baby seems excessively fussy, struggles to wake for feedings, or isn’t gaining weight appropriately, it’s a good idea to contact your pediatrician.
4. Should I wake my baby to feed them?
In the early weeks, yes. If your baby is younger than a month and hasn’t regained their birth weight, they should be woken to feed every 2-3 hours. Once they’re growing well, you can let them wake on their own at night.
5. What can I do if my baby won’t stop crying?
Crying is a perfectly normal part of a baby's development and there are many reasons babies may cry which include; hunger, tiredness, discomfort caused by things like diaper rash or an upset tummy. Learn more about what to do if your baby won’t stop crying here.
A Gentle Reminder
Newborn sleep can be unpredictable, but it’s a phase that won’t last forever. While it may feel exhausting now, these early months are a time of immense growth and bonding for you and your baby. Trust your instincts, lean on your support system, and know your healthcare provider is always here to answer your questions. You’ve got this!